Burma Shavings II

(Belle)
Pepsi-Cola
Hits the spot, but
X-Large cup size?
I think not!
Michael Bloomberg

(Belle)
Warmer weather--
Sun, not rain.
Lose the weeds and
Find the pain
BENGAY

(Firefly)
Poor bunny
Has lost an ear.
A rabid chocoholic
I fear!
Lindt

(Firefly)
But the predator is foiled.
There are many more!
Half price today
At the Lindt store.
Lindt Chocolate

(Firefly)
Vernal pool
Dark and still
Breeding mosquitos
To make you ill.
OFF

(Firefly)
Stagnant water
In the ditch
Harbors insects
That make you itch
After-Bite

(Belle)
If the sun gets
In your eyes . . .
Don't go indoors;
Go in disguise!
Ray-Ban

(Belle)
Love stilettos--
What a weapon!
Snag that man with
Your high steppin'.
Christian Louboutin

(Belle)
If, like BoPeep
You've lost your sheep
You can't count them
To get to sleep.
Lunesta

Burma-Shavings

(Belle)
The roller coaster
Jumped its track
The spill caused me to
Lose my snack
Ritz Crackers

(WW)
Slow down, kids,
I'm not a pup.
I've got old,
And can't keep up.
Geritol

(Belle)
I'm gonna wag
My tail and bark
It means "Please take me
To the park"!
Purina

(WW)
Want it now?
No need to wait.
The stuff you'll love;
The bills you'll hate.
MasterCard

(Firefly)
Chill the glass.
Measure triple sec.
If it spills,
What the heck!
Jose Cuervo Gold

(Firefly)
Crush the ice.
Squeeze the lime.
Add tequila.
It's margarita time!
Jose Cuervo Gold

(Belle)
Figure skating,
Curling, hockey,
Ice is smooth, but
Hills are Rocky
CANADA

(WW)
Care to talk?
Three cents a minute.
Or maybe more
If porn is in it.
Verizon

(Firefly)
Cha cha front.
Swing those hips.
You shouldn't have eaten
All those chips.
ZUMBA

(Firefly)
You watch The Bachelor?
So do I!
All those rejects
Cry and cry and cry.
Kleenex

(Belle)
Your bust size we
Will never tell
Because you wear
Our bra so well!
Victoria's Secret

(WW)
Online's ours.
So's your TV
We've got your phone.
Xfinity.

(Belle)
Our Philly product
Creamed with ease
But how we murdered
Mac 'n' Cheese!
Kraft

(Belle)
If you can't do it
All from scratch
Take our blue box
And fake a batch!
Kraft

(Firefly)
When a relationship
Encounters rough sailing,
It's time for that setting
Involving a railing.
The Bachelor

(Firefly)
Those tempting desserts
What did you think?
The sun did not cause
Your clothing to shrink.
Weight Watchers

 (Firefly)
This miracle drug
Might help your condition.
Possible side effects?
Call your mortician.
Anything Advertised on TV

(Belle)
Self promoting,
Rude and brash--
You may have class
But he has cash.
Donald Trump

(Dreamweaver)
For milk we drive
To Bellingham.
So Costco's lot
Is one huge jam. 
CANADA

(Belle)
Our mission is
To soften your ride
That's why we put all our
Hot air inside!
Firestone

(Dreamweaver)
Sometimes we opt
To market wine.
To join the firm
Jen did decline.
FIRESTONE

(Dreamweaver)
Kraft sells sugar
Water and air.
Kraft mac and cheese
Buyer beware!
Kraft Dinner

(Firefly)
Please don't sing.
It hurts my ears.
Have you had
Too many beers?
Karaoke Responsibly

(Belle)
Pit bull, porker--
Take your pick.
Just don't forget the
Red lipstick!
Sarah Palin

(Belle)
Come up!  See Russia
From my house!
But please don't bring
Your same-sex spouse.
Sarah Palin

(Belle)
If this job's money
Doesn't fit,
I've got no choice;
I must a-quit.
Sarah Palin

(Belle)
This mama grizzly
Growls on cue
'Cause she's got nothing
Else to do!
Sarah Palin

(Belle)
Marathon?
That sounds like fun!
Just turn me on
And watch me run.
John Deere

Dedication

This blog is dedicated to the Dream Weaver, the Muser, and the Pursuit of Truth. These are three very real and very cherished cyber friends (you will all know who you are if you visit here).

Not too long ago, I was an essentially limited, if not dormant, spirit. A chance encounter opened up a whole exciting world of dreaming one's mindscape to virtual life, musing over everything from the ridiculous to the sublime in the arena of pop culture, the arts, and matters of the heart, playing with words as they dance through our sensibilities, and pursuing truth through flights of fancy into reverie, nostalgia, serendipitous mischief and imagination.

Without them, the joy in Mudville would have no outlet. Without them, there would be no versological lambasting of silly reality TV personalities, or studiously cynical wisecracking about them. Without them, there would be no voice for this irreverent perspective on our life and times. Without them, there would be no audience in this private theatre of the absurd. And without them, neither you nor I would be on this page.

So I raise a cup of mocha hazelnut latte, take a seat in our virtual library, set to work at this fledgling enterprise, ready a little copper bell to measure the milestones thereof, and salute the synergy of sisterhood that has supplied such a boon to the quality of a life.

Thank you! ;-)

Prunes

Yep, prunes. Prunes--the medium from which germinated the idea for a blog of curmudgeonly ranting about persuasion, pop culture, electronic communication, human nature, matters of the heart, the great cosmic scheme of things, and anything else I haven't thought of yet.

I'll never forget when I first saw the commercial--Sunsweet introducing and extolling an exciting new product that consumers would be unable to resist: individually wrapped prunes. I thought they had to be kidding. Why in the world do we need our prunes wrapped? To create more packaging for our starving landfills? (I should warn you that I have a "thing" about packaging.)

Was it to keep the uneaten prunes germ free for others in the household? Well, couldn't you just touch only the prune you want to eat? Under that theory, individually wrapped potato chips would be a good idea, too. Can you imagine your veggie platter if all those cauli-flowers were dressed in Saran Wrap? Will individually wrapped M&M's be next?

Maybe they wanted to protect our hands from getting sticky from handling the prune? Nah . . . think about it. If you take a naked prune out of the box, you're touching and holding it at the same time, right? Limited exposure. But if you have to remove and discard the wrapping, don't your grubby paws come into contact with more of the fruit in the course of the operation? Try it.

Maybe they wanted to make it easy to stuff a few prunes in a handbag or briefcase for a nice, healthy midday snack. But we have those cute little snack sized Ziploc bags, which you'd probably want to use anyway if you were planning to pack more than one prune. There's that pesky gratuitous packaging again!

Well, aren't new products good for the economy? I mean, someone had to design and manufacture the machinery that wrapped each prune and then stuffed the requisite quantity into those bags. Visions of Lucy and Ethel on an assembly line come to mind.

And then think of all the background work that went into developing this eagerly awaited product: facilitating focus groups, researching costs and forecasting sales, writing and shooting the commercials . . . I wonder how many jobs were created?

So let's see . . . we need to have the product to create the jobs to expand the economy so that everybody can afford to buy the product, and all we need to do is convince people that they need/want it, and then clean up after it. Gotta love the free enterprise system!